Erin Treloar from Raw Beauty Talks on Postpartum Anxiety and Depression
We recently sat down with Erin Treloar to discuss her personal experience with postpartum anxiety in hopes that it will help any moms who may be struggling with either postpartum depression (PPD) or postpartum anxiety (PPA).
Erin is a celebrity health & wellness coach, founder of Raw Beauty Co. and host of the Raw Beauty Talks podcast. Her non-profit organization, Free to Be teaches media literacy and positive body image tools to help youth in grades 4-8.
Read along for our interview with Erin talking about the signs of PPA & PPD, how you can help a loved one, advice for moms struggling, and more!
What is postpartum depression and anxiety?
“Postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety are forms of depression and anxiety that occur after birth. They can look like a number of different things depending on an individual's experience, but generally they occur because of a combination of chemical or hormonal imbalances, physiological changes that are happening in a woman’s body, and all the things that come along with motherhood. Fatigue, identity shifts, change of schedule, and shifts in our relationship with our partner…there are so many things that change after having a baby and while many of them are so beautiful, there are a lot of things that can be hard as well.”
What are some of the signs that you personally experienced of both postpartum depression and postpartum anxiety?
“I noticed some anxiety right off the bat. I’ve had a lifelong experience with anxiety, sometimes where it’s been quite severe and other times where it’s barely noticeable or it has almost felt as though my anxiety has allowed me to thrive in certain areas. I recognized right away that I was more anxious than normal and feeling unsettled in my body. It wasn’t until about 8 months after having my daughter that I got hit with really debilitating anxiety and panic attacks. I felt like I could barely get out of bed in the morning without having a panic attack, I had difficulty catching my breath, experienced really intrusive thoughts, had a lot of guilt and shame, felt hopeless and a failure as a mom. For me, I really think it was a lack of sleep over a long period of time. I never stopped working, I was managing my business, had 2 little kids, and my system said “that’s enough”. My nervous system switched into fight or flight in a really major way and I began the process of having to rehabilitate my mind, body, and soul.”
How long after giving birth did you experience PPA and PPD and how long did it last?
“PPA and PPD really look different for everyone. It is typical for a woman to experience the ‘baby blues’ a couple weeks after birth. This is really natural as women’s hormones shift back to normalcy after carrying a baby and giving birth. A lot of women find themselves crying, feeling more anxious, emotional, and irritable, all of which can last a couple of days to two weeks before it tends to even out. Typically, PPA and PPD begin to present around the 3 month mark and until about a year later is when they will diagnose it as PPA or PPD versus just a generalized anxiety disorder. However, it really does look different for everyone and it can hit at any time. Generally there are going to be some early warning signs that you would want to address in hopes of it not getting too extreme.”
What are some ways a partner can help those who are struggling?
“Anxiety disorders and depression are not just impacting the mom. This is a family unit for the most part and it can be difficult for a partner who isn’t experienced in caring for somebody who is going through this. Plus they’re in a time of a lot of change and vulnerability as well!
I was lucky, my husband was truly amazing despite having no experience himself with anything like what I was going through. For a partner who is noticing a shift or change, the first thing to do is to open up a conversation and ask them how they’re doing. If there’s avoidance around accepting what's going on, mention some of the things that you’ve noticed - “I noticed that you're sleeping a lot” or “I noticed that you seem really irritable, exhausted or you're crying a lot and I'm just wondering how you’re doing”.
Sometimes there can be a tendency to fix our partner, but in this case I think it’s more helpful to listen, provide a safe space to talk, then getting your partner to a doctor, therapist, or somebody that is experienced working with PPA and PPD. You don’t need to wait until it gets really bad…even if you’re starting to notice some of the first symptoms, onboarding a healthcare professional is a really smart move.
I would say that listening, onboarding a professional, and providing a safe space to talk about whatever it is that they’re experiencing are the 3 most pivotal things a partner can do.”
What should you do if someone tells you they are struggling with PPA or PPD?
“Remember that this person who is trusting you is probably feeling a lot of guilt or shame about what they’re experiencing. If you’re able to just listen and validate their experience, that is probably the number one thing you could do to support them.
The second thing is to always ask the person if they are looking for advice or if they just need to be listened to. You could say “are you open to some advice or do you just need a friend to talk to?”. Then if they’re looking for support, a dinner to be dropped off, a friend to watch a movie with, etc, they’ll let you know. In regards to offering advice, be mindful that they’re probably navigating a lot of things and have a lot of advice from a lot of different people at that time, so just ensure that it’s actually something that they’re open to.”
What are some of the symptoms or signs of PPA and PPD?
“With PPD and PPA, there are a number of textbook symptoms that you can be experiencing and it is going to look different for every single person. These symptoms can be quite soft at times, meaning you barely notice them or you can function even though they’re there. We all have the odd thought where we’re doubting ourselves or we’re not sure if we’re being the best mom. But in general those thoughts bubble up, pass through and you’ll carry on with your day. When you’re experiencing PPA and PPD, those thoughts can get really sticky, you can’t let go of them, and you’re thinking about it all the time.
You may start to notice things like feeling really emotional, crying often, feeling extra tired or not feeling tired at all, difficulty bonding with your baby, or feelings of helplessness. Physical sensations can include cold hands and feet, heart palpitations, migraines, headaches, sweating, feelings of panic, or shortness of breath. All of these symptoms generally start pretty quiet and soft, then they get louder and louder. If left untreated, they often don’t go away so it is really important to reach out for support, start making changes in your life and day-to-day, chat with your therapist, and check in with your doctor to make sure it doesn't get worse.”
What is your message to moms who may be battling PPA and PPD?
“I would just want anyone who is experiencing some signs of PPA and PPD to really know that it is not your fault. It is not a character flaw, it is not because you are weak, it is not because you chose this, and it is not because you had too much coffee or you made one wrong decision along the way. It is a hormonal or chemical imbalance and it 1000% will get better. You are an incredible mom and in this moment, asking for help is the best, most important thing you can do for you and your baby. Let others support you and if you don’t have that support network, then reach out for help. There is a community out there and around you who will help you get through this.”
Be sure to follow Erin on Instagram @rawbeautytalks, visit her website at Raw Beauty Co., and her non-profit organization at Free to Be.
This interview has been edited and condensed for length and clarity.
