Supporting Children’s Mental Health
Recognizing when a child is struggling with their mental health can be challenging, especially when the signs are subtle. As parents, teachers, and caregivers, it's crucial to understand the warning signs and know how to approach conversations with young people about their mental well-being. By staying attentive to changes in behavior, emotional patterns, and overall functioning, we can offer support before things escalate.
We recently sat down with the vice president of Mental Health First Aid, Tramaine EL-Amin, to explore some key signs that may indicate a child is facing mental health challenges and how to offer help effectively!
What are some signs that a child may be struggling with their mental health?
In our Mental Health First Aid course, we define a mental health challenge as a significant shift in how a young person might think or feel. It’s reflected in changes to their behavior or actions and the key question is how it’s affecting their life. Is it interfering with their daily routine? How long has this been going on? And could it be beyond what we’d expect from typical emotions or reactions?
One important aspect is that young people might not always know how to talk about these challenges. Often, instead of seeking help from an adult, they turn to their peers. That’s why it’s essential for adults—and for us to teach teens, who often engage with young people—to recognize the signs of a mental health challenge and learn how to guide them toward the appropriate support.
If you sense that a child may be struggling with their mental health, what is the best way to approach a conversation with them?
Sensing something might be off is one thing, but really understanding what the warning signs are is crucial. For instance, if a young person starts withdrawing from family, friends, or activities they once loved, and isn’t replacing those with new, age-appropriate interests, that could be a red flag. If they're struggling to stay focused—not just occasional lapses in concentration, but a noticeable impact across different areas like school and home—that’s worth paying attention to.
As adults, it’s important to listen actively. Engage in conversations before a situation escalates, and be prepared by accessing training, support systems, or online resources. That way, when the time comes to help, we know how to respond. It’s also essential to check in regularly with the young person, whether during dinner, on the way home, or in a youth-serving setting. Let them know it's okay to talk about how they’re feeling, and create a consistent, supportive environment so they feel comfortable opening up.
When a young person knows they can rely on that consistency, they're more likely to share their challenges. Establishing a routine—whether it’s setting aside time to talk about feelings or creating a consistent bedtime and waking routine—can have a positive impact on both their physical and mental health.
Lastly, it's vital to collaborate with the young person to find solutions. Instead of telling them what to do, we should involve them in the process and ask for their input. Checking in with their friends or teachers can also provide insights into how they’re doing and help us identify the right kind of support when needed.
What are some things to avoid when talking to kids about mental health?
Trust-based engagement is incredibly important. It’s essential to create space away from the crowd for these types of conversations to unfold. We know that talking about emotions isn’t always easy, especially for young people, so it’s key to let them know you're ready to listen whenever they’re ready to talk.
It’s crucial not to pressure them into opening up right away and to allow room for silence. Don’t feel the need to jump in, interrupt, or force the conversation. Just being your authentic self while supporting the young person is vital. You might even express something like, "This is hard for me to bring up. I want to talk, but I’m not sure where to start." That vulnerability can make the young person feel more at ease.
Another important aspect is recognizing that your experiences and perspectives might be completely different from theirs. We need to be mindful not to impose our own beliefs or reactions on what they’re going through. Negative judgments can quickly signal to a young person that you’re not a safe person to confide in. It’s critical to give them the space to express themselves freely, without fear of judgment.
What are some ways to support a child’s mental health before it becomes a larger problem?
There’s often a seasonality to these challenges, or another way to put it is that life events and transitions can trigger things for young people. Take back-to-school time, for instance—moving from one grade to another, changing schools, making new friends, or transitioning from middle to high school. These are times when parents, teachers, and caregivers need to be especially mindful and prepared to offer support.
So, what can we do? We have a unique opportunity to create healthy habits during these transitions. It’s important to focus on prevention and early intervention, not just reacting to challenges as they arise, but thinking proactively about well-being and mental health. By focusing on prevention, we can help young people navigate these changes more smoothly. It’s also helpful to highlight the positives of these new experiences, even though they may be filled with anxiety. Asking questions, engaging with the young person, and involving them in finding solutions can make a big difference.
Ultimately, it’s crucial to have ongoing conversations about health and mental well-being, so when challenges do arise, we’re already comfortable and prepared to talk about them before things escalate.
If a child is being bullied at school, what are your suggestions for going about the situation?
One of the missteps we often make as adults is forgetting just how impactful words can be, especially because we’re so far removed from our own adolescence. Sometimes, we might unintentionally minimize a young person’s experience when they bring up issues like being bullied, especially if we hear it secondhand from a friend. It’s important to take these instances seriously and not only talk directly with the young person, but also reach out to an adult in the school or setting where the bullying might be happening. Other adults can provide additional insights or intervene where necessary.
It's also crucial to know who to approach and understand how that particular environment addresses bullying, so you’re informed before stepping in. Additionally, while social media can be a great tool for building community, it's also a space where bullying can occur, whether online or through text messages. As caregivers, parents, or trusted adults, we should document any instances of bullying and use the reporting tools available on those platforms.
Above all, safety is the priority. It's essential to identify risks, ensure the young person feels supported, and make sure they have a trusted adult they can rely on. Finally, let the young person know that their feelings are valid and that this is a serious issue, so they don’t feel like their emotions are being minimized.
What are some things you have implemented in your own life to support your mental health?
I’m a work in progress—and honestly, we all are. It's important to remember that what worked for you yesterday may not work tomorrow. For me, the things I implement to take care of myself have shifted as my life has changed, sometimes even from week to week. The most important thing is checking in with myself. Too often, we just keep going like the Energizer Bunny, moving from one thing to the next without pausing.
I always emphasize dusting off that self-care plan you’ve created. We talk about this a lot in Mental Health First Aid—it’s about being aware of what’s happening with you and then choosing the right strategy. Today, it might be yoga, but tomorrow, you might not want to see a yoga mat—you might just want to enjoy some ice cream. It all depends on the person and the moment.
Another key element is setting healthy boundaries. Sometimes we focus on tangible things as part of mental health and well-being, like activities or practices, but it's also about establishing healthy boundaries—whether at work, at home, or in our interactions with others. It's crucial to regularly assess how we’re doing in this area and be honest when we need to improve.
I also make good use of the well-being feature on my phone! It limits my time on certain apps, which is a lifesaver because otherwise, I’d spend the weekends scrolling away and suddenly it’s Monday again. Using digital tools like that can be really helpful.
Thank you so much to Tramaine EL-Amin for all of her insight into children’s mental health!
